Yesterday was a big step for us! We have not exactly hidden the fact that we live a polyamorous lifestyle but we definitely have not advertised it either. I have thought for a long time about sharing our life choice with the world and finally took the step to do so yesterday. I put a Facebook post on my personal wall that went like this:
Matt and I are in a very secure point in our marriage and we feel it is time to let you all know something about us. Many of you already know but we are wanting to be open and proud of the relationship we have created. In doing so we feel the desire to share something with you all. We understand that many of you will not understand this way of life or agree with it and that is completely ok. We are proud to say that we are a polyamorous couple and have been for the past two and a half years. This has strengthened our marriage and made us both happier individuals in many ways. I hope that you guys feel comfortable to ask me or us about this before you judge our choices and our way of life. We are happy to answer any questions you have if we are able to. (Feel free to PM me) It feels good to be open and honest with the world and it was something we have wanted to share for a long time now.
( Polyamory: The state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time)
I was ready to answer questions and take negative comments on the post. I waited and waited for them to come in. Amazingly I got nothing but positive feedback! Great comments and very nice personal messages from friends, a few family members, and co-workers. I even got a few very nice text messages too. Most said that they admire the courage it took to do it. I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.
I had waited for the right time to make a post like that and the right time never came. I actually felt like the right time was going further and further away. While at the gym yesterday doing a swim the idea to go for it came to me. I thought about it further, talked to Matt about it, mentioned it to Mark, and then made the post. I will admit my heart was racing when I hit the “post” button. I didn’t know how people would take this type of lifestyle we live especially since so many people don’t understand it.
A lot of people we are close to did not comment on the post or send a message. I don’t expect it of course and respect their decision to not share how they feel. I was hoping for a few individuals to reach out and they have not. I suppose it is better to not say anything is you don’t something nice to say or maybe they feel neutral about it.
I do want to add that this lifestyle is not for everyone. It has worked so well for us and I want to share it with you all in hopes you can relate to it or it helps you in some way. I know it takes a lot of work and is heart breaking when it does not work out. We form close relationships with people we deeply care about and when that does not work out it is as difficult as any relationship ending can be. I do believe, at least for us, that its’s worth trying. To put in the time and effort and develop such a great and meaningful relationship with your primary person as well as others is amazing. I can’t imagine missing out on the opportunity to live more fully and love more deeply. So much so that I am putting my life out here for you all to see and hopefully learn a thing or two from.
Anyway, this was a huge step for us and I am so glad we did it. I feel so relieved and happy I did it. I worried so much about it before actually making that post. I see now that the concerns were good to have but being true and honest about who we are to everyone is even better. No need to live with a mask over us to people around us. It has been wonderful to lift the mask off and be us. Take it or leave it…it is who we are and we are proud of it.