Over the years, embracing the polyamorous lifestyle has significantly changed my life for the better. It was a big step that Matt and I took to open our marriage but it was well worth it after a lot of hard work. I did not know that my life would have become so much more fulfilled until we really started developing a connection with Mark. Matt has made a great friend in Mark and I have a boyfriend that I care very much for. Mark has been a significant person, to both Matt and I, in different ways but ultimately it has helped our marriage and life in general.
Since I am grateful to be in a relationship with two special people, I feel the need to help others along their path as well; that is if I can. I was curious about the polyamorous lifestyle and found the Polyamorous Network of Charlotte (CPN). I signed up for one of their meetings and had a great introduction into everything that polyamory is about. Steve, the head of the group, was so kind in answering all my questions, and that started our journey into putting our open marriage into action. It was actually at this first meeting that I met Mark for a few brief minutes before I left. He came over and introduced himself. He sent me an email from the CPN site which I amazingly saw after 5 days since it went to my junk mail folder; I don’t usually check that folder. That email led to a mountain bike date at Frances Beatty Park and from there we slowly created a relationship.
I have wanted to give back to a cause that I believe has changed my life. I expressed this to Steve and he suggested I become an administrator for the CPN group. I accepted the position and have enjoyed being a more substantial part of the community. It was not until recently that I have been more involved in the group but have enjoyed it so far. We had not been public about our relationship until a few months ago so I didn’t feel comfortable getting too involved. Now that we came out to family, coworkers, and basically everyone else, I have really wanted to get more involved in being a source for others.
Recently I hosted a meet-and-greet for the polyamory community at our home. It went very well and we had over 50 people attend. I had 4 different speakers which created a good source of education for the people that came. Many were curious about how polyamory worked, so I focused on providing info on what it’s all about and what exactly it isn’t. I also introduced Matt and Mark and then let everyone know we were a source for questions if they had any. Many people reached out to us; we were thrilled. I was a little skeptical about having the event at our house, but it all worked out perfectly. I hope to host another event in a few months since the positive feedback made me very proud and has made me want to do even more for the community.
Writing this blog is another way of being a source to others about what we are doing and how it all works for us. As I have mentioned, the dynamics of each poly relationship is very different for every couple and situation but many of the values are the same. I am happy to raise awareness of how it can be successful as well as enhance the relationships of everyone involved. I have been very honest with the good and bad of what our experience has been in hopes that other people can relate to our situation, and also have hope that it can work out with enough effort and communication. My dream would be able to turn this blog into a book one day and reach even more people. Receiving feedback from others really sparks the desire to do more for the community and reach as many people as I can. It’s such a good feeling to help others, especially on an experience that you feel so passionate about. I encourage you to take a look at what has been a significant benefit in your life and try to give back to the cause in one way or another. You can start out small, just as I have, and see where it takes you.
Coming out to the world as being poly was not easy at all and we expected a lot of negativity about it, but I felt it was more important to be honest with ourselves, to the world, about who we are and what we were doing. We spent a solid two years not sharing that we were poly, however, we were not exactly hiding it either. I made the coming-out Facebook post a few months ago, and that opened a lot of ways of communication for people we knew. It was nice to have others reach out to us who wanted to understand this lifestyle more. Many had no idea what it was about, or even what poly meant, so it felt great to share information and experience with them. A lot of the values we cherish and work on can be applied to any monogamous relationship so I feel like we can help others in any relationship they are currently in or seek to have.
Running has also been a huge part of my life, especially in the last few years. I wanted to share my journey with other people about what I have learned along the way with the races. I am not a professional runner and have not had professional training, so a lot of trials and error lessons learned could potentially help other runners; at least that is my hope. Going through the ups and downs of a race and sharing different strategies of what has worked and what has failed I believe could help any runner. I also strive to be a source of running ideas for things to try, which could work for one whom otherwise may not think of such strategy. Trial and error lead to new strategical ideas, and those may be new for someone. I will continue sharing my knowledge and experience in hopes to help others in the world.